Recently while kneeling in a prayer circle, instead of rehearsing what I was going to say when it was my turn, I decided to really listen to what the others were saying. Gradually it occurred to me that this prayer circle was a strange ritual. I got the feeling those praying weren’t really talking to God but were speaking for the rest of us to listen to how cleverly they could weave together a collection of cliques I have heard since I was a little boy. I got the feeling they were praying for their human audience and I wondered if God bothered to pay attention. If I was very wrong and they really were talking to God why should I be eavesdropping? When I am talking to someone about really meaningful things I don’t particularly like having others listening. They can listen when it is trivial but not when it counts.
I realize I am being judgmental and wrongly projecting my own cynicism on others. So please forgive me. The older I become the more personal prayer becomes. The things I want to talk to God about are not for your ears or the ears of those with whom I work and play. When I pray in public I want to ask God to indulge my trivia knowing that I will get back to Him later with what is really on my heart.
“Now it was in those days that Jesus went to a mountain to pray, and he spent the whole night in prayer to God.” Luke 6:12. Do you ever wonder what They talked about? Surely it was a dialogue. The following verses tell of Jesus calling the twelve to ministry. That night they must have talked about each of the twelve one by one. Now that’s a conversation I wish I had listened in on.
Written by Roger Bothwell on August 8, 2008
Spring of Life Ministry, PO Box 124, St. Helena, CA 94574