Once a year the college sends someone to watch me teach. They are assigned to evaluate me. Usually it’s a colleague who is quite sympathetic and for the most part says nice things. To make it appear they were attentive to their assigned task they put down something I need to improve upon. I appreciate that they tell me when they are coming. It gives me a chance to be at my best. He is coming this Wednesday evening. I will make sure I am wearing a necktie and will have shined my shoes. I would say that I will do a super lecture, but that would leave a false impression. I try to do a super lecture every class. My students deserve the best I can be. Yet I still know 50% of what I tell them is wrong. I just don’t know which 50%.
It reminds me of my walk with Jesus. Fifty percent of my speech and behavior is not fit for His companionship. Again my problem is I don’t know which 50%. I am so steeped in 21st century American culture my thoughts, my ideas, my values are just not worthy. I am a child of now and I long to be a child of the future; His future in a perfect place. I’m sure you are the same as I am. We try. I had a man tell me he had stopped sinning. I almost laughed in his face. How could he be so ignorant? He didn’t know what he didn’t know. Grace. Grace is the name of the game. Without it we don’t have a chance because not one of us knows what we don’t know.
Written by Roger Bothwell on November 18, 2009
Spring of Life Ministry, PO Box 124, St. Helena, CA 94574
rogerbothwell.org